Let's talk about the asshole email app.
Now, email has always been something that has fascinated me. It began with a Brain Pop™ educational video which led to me begging my computer-savvy dad to set up my first email account. The address was dfbickers@columbus.rr.com — an address which is long since defunct so don't get any clever ideas.
Around the same time, I began to have an increased interest in politics, which fed an interest in email (which I spelled e-mail with a hyphen because I was so prim and proper in my youth.) The two of those found common ground in a video game called "The Political Machine 2008," a presidential campaign sim where all the candidates were bobbleheads and my disillusionment with American democracy began in earnest.
All that aside, I had an email and I adored it! Despite the fact that nothing ever graced my inbox, I still felt connected to the world at large. I felt as though I could get an email from campaign staffers for input on a new campaign ad blasted across airwaves. I thought I could do some very important business, so much so that I tried to program my dad's old Compaq Palm Pilot to sync (synch, I believe we said at the time) my emails wherever I had a wifi connection.
To put it in a much shorter way, I've always been horny for email; even before I knew what horny meant.
This brings me to the asshole email app.
Superhuman seems to be a fast application with which you can check your Gmail for $30/month. Most people I know would balk at the idea. "30 bucks per month to do something I already do for free? You realize that is, as they say, fucking insane, right‽"
It is fucking insane but I wanted to experience it nonetheless. So, as soon as I found out about its release back in 2017 from my favorite podcast I knew I needed to sign up.
I did, and entered my email into the lottery of people who want to pay $30/month to check their free Gmail accounts. Evidently, that lottery is drawing from quite a large pool because after two years of waiting I've yet to receive my invitation to pay people for my free stuff I already have.
One would imagine the recent controversy surrounding the asshole email app and its dubious practices with tracking cookies, the lottery would be a bit thinned out. I suppose it hasn't.
Despite all that, I'm still here waiting for some posh VC company with questionable morality to take my money. Apparently I need to do a Google Hangout with the founder. Hopefully I have my chance to do that before they start charging $60 for that service too.
Edit: 12/8/2019
I received an email from Superhuman CEO who looks forward to scheduling me for a consult.